saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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