so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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