I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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