He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
