do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
