I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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