She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Houston, we have a blender
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
