just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
