I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
