Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
