If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just found a bag of teeth...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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