I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
50% drunk capacity currently
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize