Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
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He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
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the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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