pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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