Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
