when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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