That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there