Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's