Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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