Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
