I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
