I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Randomize
