dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
