like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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