omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
