Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i've created a new STD.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
