This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
