Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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