mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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