Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
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The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
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Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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