i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
