i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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