I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
