It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
