what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
