I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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