Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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