i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
