id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
