did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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