dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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