i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i out mim tonsoeep
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