and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
