Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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