what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
