I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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