So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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