That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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