This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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