True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
