She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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