I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
