i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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