How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
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she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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