i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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