its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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