No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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