I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Houston, we have a blender
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
