Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
