He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
