He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
