For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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