This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize