i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I pour the whiskey from now on
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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